WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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