fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
