Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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