My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
