think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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