I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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