we have pet lesbian snakes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
