I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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