i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
