there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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