Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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