at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
