I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
