I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
