pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
