I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
