she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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