she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize