Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
