physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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