So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
