I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
