I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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