I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
