He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
