WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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