I just made out with a guy for $7.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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