pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
