Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
