i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
