Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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