can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
