she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
my poor anus
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
