C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
