I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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