I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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