Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
