I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
