Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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