she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
