just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
