dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
