It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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