Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize