Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
