I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
