some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
