@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
