Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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