People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
