Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
