Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
