im drinking this country out of the recession.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
