areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize