Me. At least after what I've been through.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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