he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
