their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize