Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
