i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
