PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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