I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
