So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
