im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
