dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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