Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
