whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
