Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
