I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
