That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
