Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
