Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So much rum. So many feels.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
